Originally published at To Jesus Sincerely

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I don’t always like God’s plans for my life.

I don’t always accept or understand redemptive suffering.

Whenever I hear the story of the mother in 2 Maccabees who “encouraged one another [her 7 sons] to die nobly” I’m perplexed (2 Maccabees 7).

Whenever I hear the story of St. Jose Sanchez del Rio, a young boy of 13 who went into battle and was martyred for Christ, a part of my heart recoils (Holy Heroes Glory Story).

It’s hard for me to accept redemptive suffering in my life:

migrainessecondary infertilitybroken relationshipsliving away from family.

It’s even more difficult for me to accept redemptive suffering in the lives of those I love:

my husbandmy childrenmy friends and family.

Especially as a mother, it’s hard for me to imagine having the courage it takes to send my children into battle with my full approval and blessing.

I tend to be like Peter in the Gospel, when Jesus foretells of his Passion and death. I want to say “God forbid, Lord!” in the face of suffering. (Matthew 16:21-23)